Purposely practice misfortune to free yourself from fear

Even if you don’t consider yourself a particularly fortunate person, you likely have more than you think you do. If you have the time and the means to read blogs today, you are a fortunate person. It is possible to get so comfortable in our good fortune that we lose sight of how fortunate we really are. We may not be wealthy, but we are comfortable with where we live, our cars, our laptops, our iPhones, indoor plumbing, electricity, and running water. We are so comfortable having all of these conveniences that we live in fear of losing them. What if these things weren’t available to us as readily as they are today?

What brings this subject to mind is my car, which is becoming a rather prolific source of blog fodder lately. It has had a vibration, been noisier than usual and a rather alarming clunking sound has gotten worse over the last week. It has gotten to the point that I was a little afraid to drive the thing. It had to go into the shop. I have no backup vehicle. I live on the outskirts of a small city where a vehicle is a necessity if I need to do any sort of regular daily errands. Luckily we live within walking distance of the school, but the city center and all of my kid’s activities are a 20-minute drive away. Writing all of this down illustrates how incredibly fortunate we are. Today, however, I will be practicing misfortune. Continue reading “Purposely practice misfortune to free yourself from fear”

On introspection and choosing another path

In my other life, as a health coach helping people gain a healthier relationship with food while losing weight happily and healthfully, I have recently made a pretty major business decision. It is one of those shifts that is like jumping off of a cliff. It feels like there’s no going back. Like you’ve got to be all in–100% committed–or the scene will look like one from the coyote and roadrunner cartoon.

The thing is, I wasn’t getting anywhere with what I was doing. I was doing everything the marketing people told me to. I was authentic, passionate, and unique. I had an elevator speech. I regularly shared my story with soul-baring honesty. I walked my talk and am a product of the plan I was trying to sell. All I heard were crickets. Could it be that I wasn’t clear about what I was selling? Essentially I was selling myself on the internet. I mean, that’s pretty vague.

Authenticity is one of my core values, so my business plan reflects that. As a result, it is both rigid and fluid, and that might come off as wishy-washy. My compass is my internal barometer, which sometimes causes me to float in circles. I needed a solid plan, but first I had to figure out what was wrong with the other one. Continue reading “On introspection and choosing another path”

Your Ego is Not Your Amigo

When was the last time you invited someone to point out your flaws? I mean, when have you showed someone your hard work and asked them to tear it apart? Honestly, without hoping they wouldn’t be too harsh. Maybe the bigger question is, why would you do such a thing?

Carol Dweck talks about Fixed Mindset versus Growth Mindset in several of her essays and her book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Basically, those with a Fixed Mindset believe that innate ability or ingrown talent determines our success and that these features can’t be changed. A Growth Mindset, on the other hand, believes that our actions determine our success. So we can learn how to succeed. The Fixed Mindset judges situations. “I am such a terrible person,” “I am really bad at that,” or “This means I am better than her.” A Growth Mindset learns from a situation in order to constantly improve.

Remember my New Year’s intention about having a Child-like or Beginner’s Mind? Which mindset do you think that falls under? Continue reading “Your Ego is Not Your Amigo”

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