In case you missed yesterday’s blog, here’s an excerpt:
When do you love yourself the most? I asked this question to several women all around the world over the last week. I was interested to hear what situations or circumstances inspired them to love themselves. Sometimes I was met with silence, other times with baffled looks…The answers I received to my questions can be categorized into three main groups. These are: I love myself most when I look great, when I am successful, or when I receive love from others. Read more…
After the blog published, I received answers from another category, which is, “I love myself most when I stay true to myself.” This is a great answer, and I think many people will agree that sticking to our own path despite attractive offers to join someone else’s journey is a great way to cultivate love for ourselves. Let’s explore this idea.
I love myself most when I am true to myself
A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about living your highest thought.
“Go to your Highest Thought about yourself. Imagine the you that you would be if you lived that thought every day. Imagine what you would think, do, and say, and how you would respond to what others do and say.”
This quote from the book Conversations With God by Neale Donald Walsch comes to mind when I think of living true to myself.
In order to appreciate the benefit of being true to ourselves, let’s explore the opposite. How do you feel when you’re not true to yourself? Imagine that you witness someone being bullied or treated unfairly. What do you do? Your gut tells you that you should say something, but your head tells you that saying something might get you into trouble. How do you feel later if you decide to walk away? How does your gut feel?
On the other hand, what if you do say something? Maybe you do get into trouble, but how do you feel later? You listened to your gut and now you feel great. Elated even! Plus, the other person is thankful, too. All because you were true to your gut feeling. Think of it this way, if your partner stood up for someone else, how would you feel about him? I see the hearts in your eyes!
Here’s another example that I think is the essence of what most of the women who answered my question meant. Remember two weeks ago when we talked about living your purpose? This is another way of saying “be true to yourself.” When you live your life aligned with your true purpose or mission in life, love abounds. To have the courage to not only discover your purpose but actually get out there and live it despite all of the social pressure to stay in the comfortable world of conformity…imagine if someone else did that. How much do you admire them?
The key to being true to yourself is to not give in to social pressure. What everyone else is doing might not be right for you. Say what you are feeling. Speak your truth even if it might be an unpopular opinion. This takes courage, but it will be good for everyone involved in the long run. Speaking your truth is also good for your health. More on that in a minute.
Thinking you’re stuck at your ho-hum job because it’s safe even though you have fantastic ideas for a business that would allow you to live your purpose is a limiting Belief System (or B.S.). Ok, yes, you need your job to pay the rent. Maybe you start your business as a side hustle until it starts generating sufficient income. How do you feel about yourself now? You’re living your dream! At least part-time.
This takes loads of self-confidence, discipline, and hard work. How many of you just thought, “Oh, well I don’t have confidence, so I’m out”? Stop right there, sister! The first step is to get rid of those type of thoughts. This is fear talking. Remember when we talked about choosing love over fear? Every decision we make every day is an opportunity to choose love or fear. A choice made out of love leads us down a path of positivity and acceptance and brings us closer to our true potential. When we come from a place of fear, we believe we are not good enough, smart enough, don’t have the resources, or other people are holding us back. Have you been stuck on the path of fear? The thing is, if you make the wrong choice, you can choose again. This time choose love.
In the example above about standing up for someone else, I mentioned your gut feeling and asked how your gut feels if you don’t follow it. Not so good, right? According to Dr. Emeran Mayer, there is a reason for this. Your gut and brain have meaningful conversations every day about the state of your emotional health via the Enteric Nervous System and the Vagus Nerve (1). If you make a decision that you don’t feel good about, you feel awful in the pit of your belly. You could get a gut feeling about a person, something might put you off your food, or tie your gut up in knots. You may not have reasons for feeling this way, but you know it’s good to listen to your gut. Ancient cultures recognize that our true self is seated in the solar plexus which is the area right above your belly button. To be true to yourself, it is important to listen to your gut feelings.
Speaking your truth is good for you in other ways, too. Well, physiologically it’s all related to the same biological process, but it seems different when you are experiencing it. Expressing your feelings clears your throat chakra. Think about when you haven’t spoken up when you wanted to. Did you end up getting a sore throat a few days later? What about when you hold your feelings back due to fear of confrontation or not wanting to hurt someone else’s feelings? Next time notice if you develop a frog in your throat that won’t dislodge no matter how hard you try.
I have had a great time this week exploring self-love with you. Cultivating love for yourself is important for more than just feeling good about yourself. It actually has implications for your health. Several studies have proven this fact. People who are happy and positive have a much greater recovery rate than those who are discouraged and depressed. Believing in yourself, taking good care of yourself, and following your gut feeling are all great ways to practice self-love.
If you find this useful, there’s a good chance your friends will, too. Share this with your friends right away while you are thinking of it. Thanks for reading!