In case you missed the original blog, here’s an excerpt:
When do you love yourself the most? I asked this question to several women all around the world over the last week. I was interested to hear what situations or circumstances inspired them to love themselves. Sometimes I was met with silence, other times with baffled looks…The answers I received to my questions can be categorized into three main groups. These are: I love myself most when I look great, when I am successful, or when I receive love from others. Read more…
After the blog published, I received answers from another category, which is, “I love myself most when I stay true to myself.” This is a great answer, and I think many people will agree that sticking to our own path despite attractive offers to join someone else’s journey is a great way to cultivate love for ourselves. I added this category to my list and we’ll talk more about it later this week.
One of the most frequent answers I received when I asked the first time was, “I love myself most when I am successful.” I mean, who doesn’t?
I love myself most when I am successful
Imagine you just met the goal that you set for yourself last month. You saved the money, got the promotion, bettered your 5k time, or lost the weight. How do you feel about yourself? Awesome! This feeling is one of the reasons that having measurable, time-bound goals is important. We need to feel like we’re accomplishing something. This path may be long, so support yourself and take breaks. Second, celebrate your successes and allow yourself to feel like the boss lady you are. Then, don’t let the success define you. Finally, understand failure is an important step towards success.
When we are successful and things are going our way, it is easy to feel love for ourselves. We seek out that feeling, sometimes to the point of overwork and obsession. We feel like the harder we push ourselves, the more successful we will be and the better we will feel about ourselves. Unfortunately, many times we only feel exhaustion. Be sure you are taking care of yourself along your path. The path may be long and arduous. You want to make sure you are properly supporting yourself along the way. Take breaks. Step back every so often to evaluate where you are and where you are going. Make adjustments if need be.
Even if you were 1% better today than you were yesterday, celebrate your win! Don’t downplay the accomplishment by letting modesty take over. Don’t brush off your win by saying, “Oh, it was nothing.” Allow yourself to feel good about your accomplishment and recommit yourself to the bigger goal. This may involve calling a friend and telling her about your win, or just looking in the mirror and saying, “That’s right, you rock!”
Do celebrate, but don’t allow this success to define you. Yes, success is great, but you are more than your accomplishments. At the end of the day, it will be you alone with your thoughts. Loving that person you see in the mirror independent of her successes and failures will serve you in the long haul. Understanding this is humbling and is a big deterrent to taking a path that may lead to quicker success but doesn’t align with your moral code. If you were defined by success alone, morals would not be considered when weighing decisions.
There are all kinds of other things that make you who you are and one of the most important of those things is your failures. So many successful people have stories about how what seemed like a failure at the time was actually the most fortunate thing that could have happened. If their self-love would have been based on success alone, that pivotal moment when they failed would have stopped them from being great. If today was filled with losses, ask yourself what you have learned. If you learned one thing today, I call that a win.
Check back tomorrow for I Love Myself the Most When…Others Love Me
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